Unfortunately I wasn’t so confident in that answer before yesterday. You see, God has answered so many prayers for my family over the last few months that I felt it was time to retreat. To hunker down for awhile and allow Him to work some supernatural stuff in someone else’s life.
I was really struggling over giving Him more. Asking for more. Laying more problems down at His feet. And this guilt kept me out of His Word. I was foolish to think that I could coast for awhile and no one (especially me) would notice a thing.
Twelve different times I sat down to write about my feelings. Twelve different times my words fell short. I was swimming in my own hypocrisy and thought, “if I just keep silent, no one will know that I’m hesitating. No one will know that I think maybe God can’t hack this list of mine, after all.”
Do you ever do this? Do you ever feel that you’re asking too much of God so you throw Him a few things at a time, hanging on to the rest for fear of having too many balls in the air?
Thankfully, I voiced this frustration to a friend. To someone who spoke life into me when I was so determined to crawl under the imaginary covers of life to keep it concealed. Her words were like honey to my anxious soul and they snapped me out of that ridiculous funk.
It was almost as though I was sitting across the table, hearing Isaiah speak the words of the Lord – “Come now, let us settle the matter…”
I can admit that I pump up my own children, my friends and the teenage girls I try to minister to by telling them how immeasurably more God can do – and by anything more than we could ever imagine!
But sometimes the sweet music fades when I face the noise that comes with the responsibilities of this life on earth. I allow myself to forget that HE IS ABLE.
It doesn’t matter if He just came through for me in prayer. He doesn’t get tired. He’s ready to go again. God isn’t just a one hit wonder. He does it BIG and He’s here for the long haul.
I can almost imagine Him saying to me “Well, that’s one down. Now give Me another!”
Go big or go home is the motto that should be ringing through my ears. Yet instead, I am standing on the sidelines hesitant to hand Him another ball because, at some point, I fear He’s going to miss the free throw shot and I’m going to be left with a cheering section that’s now booing loudly as my ball rolls off the court.
And then I hear myself saying – “So what if it does? This is His game. Not mine.” Enough of this keeping-to-myself-because-I’m-afraid-to-ask-something-that-He-won’t-deliver.
“We are all mooching off of Christ’s blood,” my friend said. “And that’s ok. So why wouldn’t we mooch off of everything that comes with that?”
Mooch away, Jennifer. Mooch away.
And then she preceded to whip out her trusty Bible app and read me the preface to Ephesians 3:20-21 that I mentioned above. This scripture is often the one I overlook…
I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3:16-19)
How often I forget that He, who is able to do immeasurably more, has a love for me that surpasses all knowledge.
I can’t ask too much or pray too much or praise too much. I can’t complain too much or cry too much or be frustrated too much. The only thing I can do that hurts us both is to walk away. He knows my inmost being. There is nothing hidden from His sight. Wouldn’t it be easier to just bring it all to the cross instead of trying to carry it all on my own?
Yes, we are designed to be spiritual mooches. Mooching off of Christ’s blood and every bit of His identity that lies within the power of the Holy Spirit.
And if that’s not honey to the soul, I don’t know what is…
Today I’m linking up with the following authors to share my story: