This week’s Five Minute Friday prompt is the word notice.
It took me awhile to notice the areas of my life that needed to go. Having accepted Christ as a teenager I had absolutely no idea what to do with that. It would be years before I truly understood the meaning of having a relationship versus attempting a life of religious nonsense.
I still feel that way. I wouldn’t trade this relationship for anything.
But at the time, when I was coming back to a slow burning faith that was born years before, I wasn’t willing to relinquish my identity. Books, movies, music, pastimes. Each in and of itself, not necessarily harmful yet combined – and to the level that I enjoyed them – were hoisting themselves up as giant statues, bidding me to bow every morning and night.
Oh, but when the Spirit moves…He moves big.
I began to loosen my grip on the enjoyment I felt I was entitled to. They all got a new home. Some went in the trash. Some went on a shelf to enjoy on occasion. Some were given away.
The separation was a good thing. I had room in my head and my heart again to lay hold of something Greater.
And the rest is history…
I didn’t even notice there was anything amiss. I’d fill my head with the things that made me happy. Temporary joy was a normal thing. One little obsession after another. Books. Movies. Music. Surrounding myself in fandom because it was fun and harmless. Just things that spun my mind into magical places that didn’t exist.
Places where Christ didn’t exist.
I didn’t notice the damage. The scarecrow in the melon patch. I didn’t know what “idol” meant.
But the closer I got to Him the louder the voice…
“Put it down.” The tone was gentle, but firm. “It doesn’t fill you up. It won’t protect you. It won’t satisfy you.”
That made me uncomfortable. They were mine, and not hurting anyone. They helped me create stories in my head. They brought me to community. They gave me an identity.
The answer came more quickly than I’d expected, but I held on for awhile. Fighting. Losing. Sliding away from who I was.
…eventually the thread began to unravel and I noticed them for what they were. I noticed the frayed edges. I noticed the worn appearance.
I was new. And this was old.
We were no longer compatible. The round peg and the square hole, finally going their separate ways.
I noticed the change. I was lifted up by something else. Someone else.
At peace. Content. Thirsty for more. The joy was anything but temporary. The blessing was real.
I’d clung to the scarecrow for so long, but now I was safe from the hail storm. Sheltered from it all.
I didn’t miss them. I didn’t fight for them.
Because I didn’t notice…
Won’t you join me this week for Five Minute Friday over at Kate Motaung’s page? We’d love to see you there! Just familiarize yourself with this page first, no editing, and set your watch for five minutes.