This week’s Five Minute Friday prompt is on the word plan.
I almost skipped #fmfparty this week. I seldom manage to make the Twitter party, unfortunately, but I try to sneak out there to see what’s going on in the world of other writers. Something about seeing women chat with, laugh together, pray for and inspire just gets my creative juices flowing.
Join me below as I write about “plan.” If you’d like to get involved, follow the links below.
Growing up I thought I always had to have a plan. It made me anxious. Flying by the seat of my pants seemed to be good enough for me, but the pressure from family or peers made me think otherwise. I had to have direction. Like being behind the wheel of a car, I needed to know where I was going.
Would I go to college?
Would my major get me a good job?
Would my job pay me enough?
Would I marry a good man?
Would that good man be a good husband and father?
Would I have one child or many?
Would I stay home with those children or remain in the workforce?
All of those questions factored into that plan I had to fashion for myself. Or the one I thought I had to fashion.
The problem with making a plan is the pressure I felt for keeping it. As though I’d fail myself if I didn’t live up to that contractual obligation my mind conspired to keep.
And then I met You.
I didn’t plan on You. Certainly not like this.
I always hoped that I’d figure it all out one day and the puzzle pieces might fall into place to let me have a glimpse. To be intrigued by The Man behind the name.
To understand why Anyone would ever die to save the lot of us. It just never made any sense.
But I never planned on being able to feel Your love. Your peace. Your will for my life…
And that’s what stole my plan. Snatched it right out from under me.
That’s what made me realize that everything I had down on paper would never live up to the direction You had for me. That it was time to release each and every finger from the security I held fast.
The closer I get to You, the less I calculate. My confidence builds. Apprehension dies.
…and so does the plan.
And now I’m so caught up in watching the dominoes fall. Swiftly. Gracefully. One event bumping into the next and the next and the next. The carefully orchestrated scene unfolds before me.
And all I have to do is show up.
Because this is Your plan…not mine.
Won’t you join me this week for Five Minute Friday over at Kate Motaung’s page? We’d love to see you there! Just familiarize yourself with this page first, no editing, and set your watch for five minutes.
Hi Jennifer! I am also learning to let go of control. I wasn’t happy where I was, so I’m not sure why it’s difficult to let Him lead! Thankful that you and I are both finding out how to submit. Glad to have found you via FMF. Have a blessed weekend!
Thank you, Dara. Letting go of control is hard. It proves (always) to be the smarter thing to do, but our inclination is to lead instead of be lead. Thank goodness for a Great Shepherd… I appreciate the visit!
well written post…. called by people to be a planner, learning security in that.. and then meeting God face to face and realizing where you security aught to be.
Cool. LIKED IT. 🙂
Thank you, Anette!
Fantastic post and I’m so glad you joined in the FMF prompt this week. Your words, “And then I met You.
I didn’t plan on You. Certainly not like this.” are my favorite for the night. Something jarred inside of me when I read them. Sort of came alive as I read them on the screen. Thanks…
Thank you so much for the kind words, Shanon!
I love the way you expressed this, but I’m not quite in agreement…because if what’s happening in my life – terminal illness with pain, humiliation and marginalization – is God’s plan, I’d have just as soon not shown up.
He can have it.
But the thing is, I don’t think he planned this. I think it’s the inevitable result of a world in which free will was required for us to become fit citizens of Heaven, and that His plan – or perhaps more properly, His hope – is for me to accept His help in living each day by kicking the crap out of the malignancy that’s trying to kill me, and showing the people who think I should die and get out of their way that I am not yet out of the fight.
God’s on my side. We didn’t start this fight, but He and I will finish it.
Andrew, I can understand your way of thinking. He didn’t necessarily plan this for you. As we know from Job the enemy can inflict illness on us at the flick of a finger.
With God’s strength in us, however, the bigger plan is to continue walking hand-in-hand with Him during all of those struggles. I have an illness that’s not nearly as debilitating as cancer. However, for a mother, it can wreck my world. I’ve spent many nights in tears as I try to get enough sleep to do it all again the next day. While I ask for the struggle to be taken away, I have to remind myself that I will have trouble in this world. As often as I tend to forget, this world isn’t my home. And I have to remember that He Who is in me is greater than the one who is in the world.
So I wake up each day, keeping this in my mind (some days are harder than others) – knowing the struggle is real, but so is His love. And His glory will be seen in all of this, no matter what. That’s what keeps me going.
And I can see from the way you wrapped all of that up, just above, that you know exactly what I’m talking about. He IS on your side. And He’s with you ’til the end.
This is stunning. Thank you
Thank you for visiting!
I agree with Shanon – that line… oh my goodness, yes! “And then I met You. I didn’t plan on You…” Gah! I love you so… and Him… and Him in you… (and I can not wait until Jumping Tandem!)
Thank you, friend! I’m getting sooooo excited, too!
“As though I’d fail myself if I didn’t live up to that contractual obligation my mind conspired to keep.” Oh yes, been there, done that, still trying to loosen the reins. To get so wrapped up in our plans they become an obligation – and then there is the guilt that accompanies the lack of accomplishment for plans God never wrote on our lives. Kind of a vicious cycle that makes me ever so thankful for a God of grace. For His amazing plans and the power that helps us see that we don’t have to do more to be more. Great words today, Jennifer – just blessed me!
Thank you so much, Tiffany!
Love this! I was thinking much along the same lines when I saw the FMF word prompt. We may plan but God has much greater ideas in store. 🙂
Thank you for visiting, Amy!
Oh, I love this!! Being a natural-born planner, I can totally relate to this. I’m glad I’ve also met the ultimate-planner & that I trust Him to fill me in on what’s next!
Thank you, Leisa!